One about letting go, moving on....and trusting in the love and sovereignty of God =P

Part of Something Greater

I’m just waiting for the time when I can say
All of this is now so far away
And seeing you won’t remind me of the last time you made me cry

Cos right now seeing you is worse than saying goodbye
And all the times that you didn’t apologise
Are unforgiven, floating in the depths of my mind

Time moves on, what we had becomes the past
If I go on, will I find rest at last?


I’m just waiting for the time when I can say
All of this is now so far away
When I’ve forgiven you and swallowed up the pain inside

Cos in the end it doesn’t matter who’s to blame
We’re not the players moving pieces in this game
And what was wrong’s now right, part of something greater

Time moves on, what we have becomes the past
If I go on, will I find rest at last?

What I’ve learned on this road
Is that there’s a stronger hand to hold
I am not in control
I’m part of something greater
And what was wrong will be made right
We’ll walk by faith and not by sight
Knowing all of my life
I’m loved by my Creator


I’m just waiting for the time when I can say
All of this is now so far away...
But I’ll know You’re not so far away from me.


20th-21st February 2010

When I Go Down - Relient K

I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them

If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found

I've thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away
The secret to find an end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them

Any control I thought I had just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me

Then and there
I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet You love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do you make it light
As I exhale I hear Your voice
And I answer You, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
Because I love You
Oh God, I love You

And life is now worth living
If only because of You
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I lift my eyes to You
I won't look very far
Cause You'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again

World Through Your Eyes - Reuben Morgan

Hear the silence shout,
Highest praise
God to You alone
All creation waits
On Your every word
Where time and heaven meet

Let me see forever
With eyes You’ve opened
Standing in Your beautiful light
Hold me near
Hold me near to You
And let me see the world through Your eyes

In this perfect hour
I am changed
I’ll never be the same
Help me follow You
And keep in time with the sound
Of heaven in me

Let me see forever
With eyes You’ve opened
Standing in Your beautiful light
Hold me near
Hold me near to You
And let me see the world through Your eyes

Hide me in Your love again
Let me hear the songs of Your heart

Train to Edinburgh (2002)

Moving backwards slowly

Towns and cities glide past

Yellow street lights glint

On raindrop speckled glass

People seem to stare strangely

But there’s nothing to look at

Outside there is darkness

I only see a view of black

I’m tired and lonely

Though surrounded by everybody

I can’t find the sun in the sky

Or this life you promised me

Do I keep falling, drifting endlessly

Or will someone come and lead me on my way?

We’re speeding up slowly

Chugging along the tracks

Headed to a destination

But I don’t know where I’m at

I’m tired and lonely

Though you’re sitting right next to me

Where is the sunshine,

Where is this life you promised me?

Do I keep falling, drifting endlessly

With no one to come and save me?

On this long and winding journey

Don’t know what to do or what to think

Every thought is a cliché

Every feeling slowly sinks

I’m tired, my mind is numb

But I’m surrounded by everyone

I can’t find the sun in the sky

Or this life you promised me

Do I keep falling, drifting endlessly

Or will someone come and lead me?

Where is the light,

The life, that was promised to me?

Edited 2010

[Edit] By the way, in case you're wondering, this was written like 7 years ago and while thoughts of hopelessness, doubt, and the like, plagued me for a few years, I'm a lot happier now =) God is good and has a purpose for the times we go through...Sometimes I still feel impatient or discontent with where I am today but I trust it is all part of God's plans for me and He is leading me somewhere =)

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

25 Random Things

As on Facebook...thought it'd make a good blog post too :P

Rules:
Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.


1. My favourite fruit to eat at breakfast is a banana, because it's good for you and fills you up :)

2. I've been to the U.S. more times than I've been back to Hong Kong.

3. I used to have a lot of trouble in highschool falling asleep because I would lie awake thinking/worrying about stuff (I still do sometimes)

4. I often wonder what plans God has in store for me for the rest of my life, and if it involves moving out of Sydney or doing something else other than my chosen profession, and how much of life's comforts it will require me to sacrifice.

5. I can be quite stubborn sometimes, in that if you ask me to do/tell you something and my original answer is no, the more you ask me, the more determined I become to not change my mind.

6. My email and blog URL "certainhope" was inspired by a series of studies on 1 Peter we did in Glue (Friday night youth group) 2004.

7. I like to play piano, it is one of my favourite things to do now, but I didn't start enjoying it until a few years after I had stopped going to piano lessons.

8. Sometimes I can appear cold and unfriendly to people I don't know very well, because I am naturally shy and not very good at making conversation. But I really am quite nice, please talk to me because I would like to get to know you better :)

9. I am good at expressing myself in writing, not so much when I speak.

10. I sometimes wonder how different my personality would be if I had grown up with siblings.

11. I have come to realise the futility of pursuing career, money, mortgage, marriage, kids, fun and pleasure as the primary aim of life, and wonder why more people don't contemplate their lives from the perspective of eternity.

12. A lot of my youth leaders have had a big influence on me, and I hope I can do the same for the youth I've led/will lead in the future.

13. I am a lot more short-sighted in my left eye than in my right eye.

14. I have seven first cousins on my mum's side, and one on my dad's side.

15. I've been out of highschool for more years now than I've been in highschool, which makes me feel old.

16. But I often feel too young to be taking on the responsibilities required of my profession.

17. I don't like walking outside when it rains because the raindrops get on my glasses and then the world becomes speckled!

18. I want more people to come to know Jesus but struggle with how to go about it in a way that is practical, loving and non-judgemental.

19. I feel I'm using the word "I" too many times in this post.

20. I have a thing for correct grammar and spelling...I get a bit annoyed when people do things like using the wrong "your/you're"....although I'm probably guilty of doing the same thing online sometimes :P

21. I don't fear death for myself, but that it will take away the people I love too early.

22. It takes a long time for me to build up close relationships with people, so I really value those that I have.

23. I dislike wearing heels and make-up.

24. I think I often worry too much about gaining other people's approval, and too little about what God thinks about the actions and thoughts other people don't even see.

25. I laugh at lame jokes and make even lamer ones :P